Joint Family 

The “Joint Family” system is well respected in Indian culture. It is considered as one of the hallmarks of Sanata Dharma: 
It can be considered an individual’s duty or purpose, guiding their actions and decisions to live a fulfilling and meaningful life. The path to self-realization through dharma involves aligning one’s actions and choices with their deepest values and purpose, leading to a greater understanding of one’s true self. 

In a published paper titled, Indian family systems, collectivistic society and psychotherapy it is stated : 
“Structurally, the Indian joint family includes three to four living generations, including grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts, nieces and nephews, all living together in the same household, utilizing a common kitchen and often spending from a common purse, contributed by all.”  

The referenced paper also identifies the role and potential benefits of “joint family and support” in the care of mentally ill patients: 
“ …. Although even in today’s changed scenario, the family forms a resource for mental health that the country cannot neglect, yet utilization of family in management of mental disorders is minimal. Family focused psychotherapeutic interventions might be the right tool for greater involvement of families in management of their mentally ill and it may pave the path for a deeper community focused treatment in mental disorders.” 

The intent and focus in our blogs has a component of Psychotherapy, more along the concept of “Care for the Caregiver”! Only with a strong and enabled caregiver, patients of mental health concerns can survive and be cared for, immediately and in the long run. Cognitive Behavior Management as a skill set is an essential tool for everyone to live a life of peace and harmony. It is even more important for the caregivers who wish to provide family focused psychotherapeutic interventions. Basics of Vedic Philosophy offer an excellent framework for such behavior managment for the self as well as to influence the behavior of others.

What were the unique features of the traditional joint family system? 
“The lines of hierarchy and authority are clearly drawn, with each hierarchical strata functioning within the principle of “collective responsibility”. Rules of conduct are aimed at creating and maintaining family harmony and for greater readiness to cooperate with family members on decisions affecting almost all aspects of life, including career choice, mate selection, and marriage. While women are expected to accept a position subservient to males, and to subordinate their personal preferences to the needs of others, males are expected to accept responsibility for meeting the needs of others. The earning males are expected to support the old; take care of widows, never-married adults and the disabled; assist members during periods of unemployment and illness; and provide security to women and children.[1,23] Psychologically, family members feel an intense emotional interdependence, empathy, closeness, and loyalty to each other.”

In the above description of roles and responsibilities for the joint family system, the fundamental idea or the cornerstone is the evolution of “intense emotional interdependence, empathy, closeness, and loyalty to each other, across the family members”. This psychological state could evolve as a deliberate outcome, or as a matter of chance, in the modern age. It may be necessary for the caregivers to make the above as a goal, to foster the above as a driving force or spirit to be nurtured in order to gain the stated positive benefits of “joint family” which includes mental health disabled members?

This spirit, the abstract climate and mental framework could be seen as the “enabler”, and the well functioning Joint Family, the “enabled”? With this mental framework, members of the joint family could live anywhere – locally, co-located, within a state or nation or across many nations? All of these are the stories of many families today! In this context the Vedic Maha Vakya (grand pronouncement) – I am Brahman (Aham Brahma) – which literally means that the enabled and enabler are one and the same rings real, true and practical! We find this as noted in the referenced paper: 
“strong networks of kinship ties are noted in Indian “extended families”, even when relatives cannot actually live in close proximity. They typically maintain strong bonds and attempt to provide each other with economic help and emotional support.[1] 

This may not be an accidental outcome. Instead it may be thanks to the evolution of the above psychological frame of mind(i.e.) intense emotional interdependence, empathy, closeness, and loyalty to each other, across the family members”. This frame of mind could be enabler not only in Indian families. Instead this could be the trigger or seed needed for joint family mindset in family units from any nation or nationality! Faith in another Vedic injunction “Sarve’ JanA Sukino’ Bhavantu: May everyone live in peace and harmony” could also be the driving force behind the evolution of such a desirable psychological state, which in turn promotes welfare of everyone in the family, especially the elders and mental health impaired in the family?

Couple of other posts from our blogs relevant to this discussion:

Perhaps it is wrong to ask the question” How large is your family?” Instead it may be better to ask, “How well do you know your “family” and what you are doing to nurture it to grow larger and stronger?” When the deep roots of interconnectedness grow with time, the family gets larger as a full grown tree.

“By the way, who are you?” asked the stranger.
“I am your reasoning, your knowledge, your teachings in the scriptures, your God in your temple, your father, your mother, your siblings and friends and everything that has enabled you to be who you are. I am the limitless “You” in you, your family at large”, came the answer.

Despite the fact that “Joint Family ” is recognized and glorified as part of Indian culture, it also suffers from the challenges and frailties of the human mind! We address this in one of our essays: Family and relatives provide a nurturing climate for the person to grow. They provide a safety net and a sense of security. But, like the plants in a garden, each person in the family is different. Some are good, some bad depending on the time, subject and perspective. One can never be truly objective and equal to everyone and at all times, But these intentions are better served if one practices a higher and intense level of non-attachment to all. Every one belongs to the family, but no one is more important or less. Everyone plays a role like a team of ball players on the field. But, in order for the team to win or succeed, every team player must be treated equally. A person with such a perspective invariably evolves into the coach or leader of the family. If there is not at least one such person with a perspective of non-attachment, invariably the family as a whole struggles with feuds, rivalries, dysfunction and conflicts. As more members evolve in their non-attachment, surprisingly there is greater cohesion and harmony across all members of the family! In all this one should be clear in their distinction between non-attachment Vs. selfish isolation and withdrawal for personal gains. One should also be clear about the distinction between non-attachment and the objectivity that arises in our views and actions Vs. subjective opinions, preferences and actions. This struggle between non-attachment and bondage or the desire for personal/selfish reasons could make one fret and wish there were no family or relatives at all. This is The burden of relationship